This could become an ebay classic, although as of late this type of thing seems to be happening more frequently.

The American Big-Business Model

11-18-2013 07:11 PM

As I sit here typing this, after 4 hours on the phone with eBay Customer Service, I still can't believe the scenario was for real, so, I thought I'd share this with you. It's called "How A Billion Dollar Company Deals With A Long-Time Seller". Every word of this is true, although, I'll bet some of you might think I'm making this up...some of it, at least. No...I'm not.

I've been a seller under this ID for almost 9 years since February, 2005. In the early 2000s, I had a small account under another name that sold a little of this and a little of that. Made a few bucks but nothing to get excited about. I closed the account in December 2003 and promptly forgot about it. Apparently, the dwarves, gnomes and trolls who inhabit eBay's dark corners didn't.

Seems I closed my account still owing eBay eight dollars and eighty-three cents. Let me repeat that: eight dollars and eighty-three cents. Remember that amount for later in the story.

As people do , I changed my address and changed my phone I didn't however change my credit card info with which I funded my old account 10 years ago nor did I change my name. Following this so far? Good.

This current account is vetted by eBay to offer for sale items totalling six-figures. I don't always offer that much, but, I am allowed to. eBay tells me I have a good rep and follow the rules. So, it was with some surprise when I went to list about twenty new and shiny items over the weekend and instead got an error message from eBay saying something about "your account has been cancelled due to another account that was in bad standing" It read of dark intrigue, nefrious cabals of evil-doers and a "secret account" that had been suspended causing THIS account to be "suspended". 

Going to eBay CS on Saturday got me nowhere. Not a single one of the agents in Manila could shed light on what I had done and how I could clear myself. They promised that "an agent would call me back by Monday with the reason for the suspension" Of course, Monday came and went with no phone call, e-mail nor even a smoke-signal."

Calling CS tonight...more than four hours ago...I was handed around like a party-joint in a frat house on a Saturday night. Finally, I was told what my crime was: I had closed my old more-than-ten-year-old-account and left an unpaid balance of...eight dollars and eighty three cents...in December...2003. They knew that I owed them the money. They knew that this account and the old one from ten years ago was owned by the same person: same name same bank account and same credit card. 

How did eBay ask for a ten-year old balance of eight dollars and eighty-three cents? They didn't. They simply shut down a current, up-to-date account, owing a zero balance, fully paid up to the minute and made six of their CS people babble on about a ten year old account for over 4 hours before I could discover what it was about. 

It was about eight dollars..and eighty-three cents.Capitalism at its finest moment.